“People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald's hash brown if it's all they've got.”

“I laughed and pointed out that "Hash Browns Mean Nothing Without You" was a pretty good name for a band."Or a song," the Duke said, and then she started singing all glam rock, a glove up to her face holding an imaginary mic as she rocked out an a cappella power ballad. "Oh, I deep fried for you / But now I weep 'n' cry for you / Oh, babe, this meal was made for two / And these hash browns mean nothing, oh these hash browns mean nothing, yeah these HASH BROWNS MEAN NOTHIN' without you.”

“No two countries that both had McDonald's had fought a war against each other since each got its McDonald's”

“When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.
”

“Seymour looked around the Tucson McDonald's. There were white people and Mavajos; there were people who preferred their Quarter Pounders with cheese and those who didn't care for cheese at all; and there were those who desperately wish that McDonald's would introduce onion rings to its menu.”

“I think all people want freedom, but they've got this idea inserted into their head about money.”