“Hereos. Idols. They're never who you think they are. Shorter. Nastier. Smellier. And when you finally meet them, there's something that makes you want to choke the shit out of them.”

“They laugh when they're embarrassed, they cry when they're happy, and they try to choke you to death when you do something nice for them.”

“You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful — and then you actually talk with them, and five minutes later they're as dull as a brick. But then there's other people, and you meet them and you think: "Not bad, they're okay," and then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality's written all over it; and they just — and they turn into something so beautiful. [Simultaneously, with Older Amy] Rory is the most beautiful man I've ever met.”

“Parents are like God because you wanna know they're out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.”

“Ignoring things didn’t make them go away. It only made it harder to face them when they finally came around to beat the shit out of you.”

“Fine, tell them who you think you are. Fine, tell them fine is what you are. And when you finally figure out what it is you need, you better think of me.”