“It was as unsatisfying as a handjob from someone wearing an oven mitt.”
“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a sponsorship from an oven mitt manufacturer.”
“I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”
“If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.”
“When I wear my confessional glove it’s super tempting to give myself a velvet handjob.”
“The glove compartment of my car is empty, but one of these days, I’m going to fill it with an assortment of gloves—everything from boxing gloves to the oven mitts I used when I burned my last bridge.”