“Believe me, Athelstan, you can wrap a dog's turd in a cloth of gold but it remains a dog's turd.”
“It weighed down on me like a rucksack filled with dog turds.”
“Shoving the ends at him, I headed for the common. It wasn't far away: a green, tree-lined oasis, brightened with many seasonal varieties of Coca-Can discardus, Crisp-packetus-cheese-and-onionus, and the occasional, fragrant dog turd underfoot.”
“You look as if you have bitten into a turd.”
“You are but a hard turd in the ass of my journey.”
“Do you have troll turds in your ears?”