“I found out that “Shame is a reaction to other people’s criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. Personal desires are sunk in the collective expectation. (Shame is) the primary device for gaining control over children and maintaining control over adults”
In this quote, Paul G. Hiebert reflects on the concept of shame as a reaction to external criticism and societal expectations. He suggests that shame is a tool used to control behavior, especially in children, by making individuals feel guilty for not meeting the standards set by others. This analysis sheds light on the power dynamics at play in shaping human behavior and the pressures individuals face to conform to societal norms.
In today's interconnected world, the concept of shame as described by Paul G. Hiebert holds significant relevance. As social beings, we are constantly influenced by the expectations and judgments of others, which can lead to feelings of shame when we perceive ourselves as falling short. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or social media, the fear of not meeting societal standards can serve as a powerful tool for control and conformity.
"I found out that 'Shame is a reaction to other people’s criticism, an acute personal chagrin at our failure to live up to our obligations and the expectations others have of us. Personal desires are sunk in the collective expectation. (Shame is) the primary device for gaining control over children and maintaining control over adults' - Paul G. Hiebert."
After reading about the concept of shame as described by Paul G. Hiebert, take some time to reflect on the following questions:
“Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two—love and controlling power over the other person—are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all the desires within us to manipulate the relationship.”
“Personalities change when you least expect them”
“Know that tomorrow will bring clarity where before was only fog. In the final summation, it is not other's expectations that slay us, but our over compensatory reactions in regard”
“Whatever controls us is our lord. The person who seeks power is controlled by power. The person who seeks acceptance is controlled by acceptance. We do not control ourselves. We are controlled by the lord of our lives.”
“If shame still has any meaning in this hell we're expected to live...it is thanks to that person who had the courage to go and kill,... Agreed, but shame won't fill our plates,... You're right in what you say, there have always been those who have filled their bellies because they had no sense of shame.”
“Our lives carry us along in ways we cannot control, and almost nothing stays with us. It dies when we do, and death is something that happens to us every day.”