“The problem is that the more you love someone, the harder it is to let them go.”

“You found yourself in a situation and you made a mistake. That doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human.”

“The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.”

“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.”

“This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.”

“I always have a problem liking things that I'm told I should like. This has been the problem with most of the Wonders I have seen so far. The fact that this one is called the 'Great' Wall of China annoys me. I'll decide if it's great or not. It might end up being the 'All Right Wall of China' to me.”

“She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?”