“Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.”

“Politicians and sports coaches both need to be smart enough to master the game, but dumb enough to think it matters.”

“Whether hunting is right or wrong, a spiritual experience, or an outlet for the killer instinct, one thing it is not is a sport. Sport is when individuals or teams compete against each other under equal circumstances to determine who is better at a given game or endeavor. Hunting will be a sport when deer, elk, bears, and ducks are... given 12-gauge shotguns. Bet we'd see a lot fewer drunk yahoos (live ones, anyway) in the woods if that happened.”

“The game (baseball)was a custom of his clan, and it gave outlet for the homicidal and sides-taking instincts which Babbitt called “patriotism” and “love of sport.”

“i could never be a sports writer, unless my assignment was to write 'sports sports sports sports sports' for three pages”

“Think they have any bras in here that can get my babies to lie flat?""They're called sports bras and they have a nasty side effect called the uni-boob.”