“If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”

“When I say that life is like an onion, I mean this: if you don't do anything with it, it goes rotten. So far, that's no different from other vegetables. But when an onion goes bad, it can either do it from the inside, or the outside. So sometimes you see one that looks good, but the core is rotten. Other times, you can see a bad spot on it, but if you cut that out, the rest is fine. Tastes sharp, but that's what you paid for, isn't it?”

“Either Mitch goes with me…or get used to finding your wife hiding in trees.” “That’s just mean.” “I’m a Smith. What did you expect?” “Good point.”

“Sex Ed - when I finally got to take it - was all about biology and birth control and nothing about anything that actually goes on between people.”

“Your first kiss isn’t as important as your last. The math test really didn’t matter. The pie really did. The stuff you’re good at and the stuff you’re bad at are just different parts of the same thing. Same goes for the people you love and the people you don’t—and the people who love you and the people who don’t. The only thing that mattered was that you cared about a few people. Life is really, really short.”

“A good balance of winning and losing is important. If you just win all the time, you won't get anything out of it; having some tough losses can be really important.”