“For Sale: Complete set of encylopedias. Never used. Wife knows everything.”

“I really hate it when a teacher has to show that she isn't behind the times by using some expression which sounds so up-to-date you know for sure she's behind the times.”

“This sex thing. We never used to be hung up like this. Nature doesn't give little kids problems except when there's some kind of an accident--like that eight-year-old South American girl that had a baby. But that's practically a mutation, right?”

“I find everything demoralizing,' Dennis said.”

“She thinks she knows everything that goes on inside me, and she doesn’t know a thing. What did she want from me – to tell the truth all the time? To run around saying it did matter to me that I live in a world where you can grow old and be alone and have to get down on your hands and knees and beg for friends? A place where people just sort of forget about you because you get a little old and your mind’s a bit senile or silly? Did she think that didn’t bother me underneath?”

“Be yourself! Be individualistic!' he called out after me. 'But for God's sake get your hair cut. You look like an oddball.”

“There's no one else to blame. No Bores or Old Ladies or Norton or Assassins waiting at the bridge.”