“Dear Miz Fitz,My boyfriend is superhot so a lot of girls think up reasons to talk to him. It drives me......Out of my MindMiz Fitz sez:Maybe he is too hot for you. Send me his photo, name, and phone number. I will check him out and get back to you.”

“Miz Fitz,If my boyfriend would just once say "I'm sorry, I was wrong," I think I would die and go to heaven.-Hellbound, a LassMiz Fitz sez:You should wish for something realistic, like world peace.”

“He's kinda shy. Maybe I should ask him out.""I think it's more traditional for you to trick him into asking you out. That way he feels more manly.”

“We sit on the floor in front of his oscillating fan and talk sci-fi, and I am thinking how strange this is that I should be sitting peacefully with Henry Stagg in his bedroom when only a week or so ago he punched me in the face for no reason whatsoever.”

“You ever watch a football game and get totally into it? Why? It's not a real battle. It's just a game somebody made up. So how can you take it seriously? Or, you ever see a movie that made your heart about jump out of your chest? Or one that made you cry? Why? It wasn't real. You ever look at a photo of food that made your mouth water? Why? You can't eat the picture.. . . . .Same thing with water towers and God. I don't have to be a believer to be serious about my religion.”

“Dan is my ordinary friend. Everybody should have at least one ordinary friend and Dan is as ordinary as they come. He is so ordinary that most people have to meet him six or seven times before they remember his name.”

“Q: Why don't boys talk?A: Boys do talk! You watch a group of them from a distance you will see that their lips are moving. They are probably making hand gestures as well. But what are they talking about?I do my hare of talking with my guy friends, but I have no idea what we talk bout. guys have absolutely no short-term memory for conversations. This is why a girl can have a long, heart-to-heart talk with her sweetie, and the next day she makes some reference to what they talked about, and he looks at her with utter incomprehension and says, "Huh?"The reason for this forgetfulness is that guys almost never anything in conversation that is worth remembering.”