“I don't know and probably never will know enough about the true nature of the universe to tell anyone else what to believe, and I've come to distrust the words of those who have presumed to do so.”

“How do you know it's not true if you don't believe in it?”

“How do you know it's true if you don't believe in it?""I...huh?""How can you understand something you don't believe in?""Shin, that doesn't make any sense. That's like saying you can't understand leprechauns unless you believe in them.""Do you understand leprechauns?""I don't believe in them.""There you go.”

“Q: Why don't boys talk?A: Boys do talk! You watch a group of them from a distance you will see that their lips are moving. They are probably making hand gestures as well. But what are they talking about?I do my hare of talking with my guy friends, but I have no idea what we talk bout. guys have absolutely no short-term memory for conversations. This is why a girl can have a long, heart-to-heart talk with her sweetie, and the next day she makes some reference to what they talked about, and he looks at her with utter incomprehension and says, "Huh?"The reason for this forgetfulness is that guys almost never anything in conversation that is worth remembering.”

“People in groups are like sheep. Like, when your very best friend is surrounded by other people, she cares more about what everybody else thinks that she cares about you. The more people there are, the more they act like animals."That doesn't make sense.""Sure it does. Have you ever heard of two guys getting in a fistfight when there's nobody around to watch? It never happens. It takes a crowd to bring out the beast. You can't trust anybody when you're not alone with them. Anybody. You have to know the boundaries.”

“So I sit and endure the stares and the pangs and twinges of Catholic guilt, knowing that I am doing the right thing if I'm right, and the right thing even if I'm wrong. Being Catholic is hard. Being ex-Catholic is even harder.”

“I didn't know what to say, but one thing was for sure: The Bank of Ted was closed.”