“It wouldn't kill you to get me an iced coffee.""No, but not getting killed doing something is not a very compelling reason to do it.”

“I thought the best thing to do would be nothing, and in that way things couldn’t get any worse.”

“Are you okay?' she asked me.Of course,' I said. 'Why wouldn't I be okay?'There are lots of reasons why you might not be okay.'There are lots of reasons why anyone might not be okay,' I said.”

“I’m not a sociopath or a freak (although I don’t suppose people who are sociopaths or freaks self-identify as such); I just don’t enjoy being with people. People, at least in my experience, rarely say anything interesting to each other. They always talk about their lives and they don’t have very interesting lives. So I get impatient. For some reason I think you should only say something if it’s interesting or absolutely has to be said.”

“What if she was meant to be, or could have been, someone important in my life? I think that's what scares me: the randomness of everything. That the people who could be important to you might just pass you by. Or you pass them by. How do you know...I felt that by walking away I was abandoning [them], that I spent my entire life, day after day, abandoning people.”

“I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a roomful of obnoxious people.”

“I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me.”