“Branson ate his salad, and left the rest of his fish untouched, while Grace tucked into his steak and kidney pudding with relish. 'I read a while ago,' he told Branson, 'that the French drink more red wine than the English but live longer. The Japanese eat more fish than the English but drink less wine and live longer. The Germans eat more red meat than the English, and drink more beer and they live longer too. You know the moral of this story? 'No''It's not what you eat or drink - it's speaking English that kills you.”

“If your arteries are good, eat more ice cream. If they are bad, drink more red wine. Proceed thusly.”

“The NRA was laying down its weapons. Yankee fans were rooting for the Boston Red Sox. The French were eating English food and loving it. Matthew was sure all those things were happening.... This was the proverbial cold day in hell, and Matthew was living it.”

“The English seem to think drinking wine is like committing adultery, something you do rarely and abroad.”

“I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.”

“I want to dance, laugh, eat pink cakes, yellow cakes, drink thin, sharp wine. Or an indecent story, now - I could relish that. The older one grows the more one likes indecency.”

“Takes more than beer in your blood to take the English out of you.”