“One day when I was praying, it suddenly occurred to me thatI was talking to myself.”

“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself. ”

“I know I am God because when I pray to him I find I'm talking to myself.”

“How do you know when you're God?" "When I pray to him I find I am talking to myself.”

“When the going get's weird, the weird turn pro.”

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”

“My life is a rather grim one. One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in great detail.”