“You need to play to your strengths as a couple. Sharing is really awesome when you're messing around with Play-Doh in kindergarten. It's less awesome when you're adults and one of you is good at something and the other person sucks at it. So just let the more skilled person take the reins.”

“Being a dick is when you're so self-centered, you think your ideas are pretty much the only worthy ones, and you secretly believe other people are inferior to you. [...] You'd rather believe other people just can't handle how awesome you are. And you're right. All that awesomeness sucks, actually.”

“And when you mess with one part of a person's life, you're not messing with just that part. When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.”

“John Davis smells like Play-Doh. When we were in elementary school, it wasn’t a big deal. I mean, we were kids. Play-Doh was pretty high on the awesome scale. But there comes a time when a guy should stop smelling like crafting supplies and develop a more manly scent, like campfire or gym floor.”

“When you mess with one part of a person's life, you're messing with their entire life.”

“When you're struggling with something, look at all the people around you and realize that every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, it's just as hard as what you're going through.”