“There are experts in little things but there are no experts in big things. There are experts in this fact and that fact but there are no moral experts.”

“If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can't be done.”

“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.”

“If history teaches us one thing, than that history teaches us nothing.”

“I've always wanted to be an expert on tadpoles; I've always fancied being a tadpole expert. It's a wonderful life if you become an experty tadpoleous, as they are known in the trade. You get invited out to all the smart parties and social gatherings. When smart people are making out their lists for the dinner parties, they say, 'Now, who can we have to make up the ten? A tadpole expert would be very nice. He could sit next to Lady Sonia.”

“Here’s a little mote of wisdom: Not everyone who claims to be an expert, is indeed an expert. Please note: I have never claimed to be an expert on anything except perhaps making the perfect omelet, and if you don’t like spicy, you’d probably argue with me on that one, too. In fact, anyone claiming to be an expert on anything, in my opinion, should immediately be viewed with suspicion, or be able to produce a PhD Diploma on the subject he or she is professing to be expert in.”

“A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.”