“As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.”

“What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two verydifferent things.”

“But, Ed! Say! Are you going to let him get away with it?""Am I going to let him get away with it!" said Mr. Cootes, annoyed by the foolish question. "Wake me up in the night and ask me!" "But what are you going to do?""Do!" said Mr. Cootes. "Do! I'll tell you what I'm going to..." He paused, and the stern resolve that shone in his face seemed to flicker. "Say, what the hell am I going do?" he went on somewhat weakly.”

“What would Jeeves do that for?""It struck me as rummy, too."..."I mean to say, it's nothing to Jeeves what sort of a face you have!""No!" said Cyril. He spoke a little coldly, I fancied. I don't know why. "Well, I'll be popping. Toodle-oo!”

“You are sure that I would not be well advised to make certain excisions and eliminations? You do not think it would be a good thing to cut, to prune? I might, for example, delete the rather exhaustive excursus into the family life of the early Assyrians?”

“I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical situation of someone who suddenly discovers that something unpleasant is standing behind them. Here is how Shakespeare handles it in "The Winter's Tale," Act 3, Scene 3:ANTIGONUS: Farewell! A lullaby too rough. I never saw the heavens so dim by day. A savage clamour! Well may I get aboard! This is the chase: I am gone for ever.And then comes literature's most famous stage direction, "Exit pursued by a bear." All well and good, but here's the way I would handle it:BERTIE: Touch of indigestion, Jeeves?JEEVES: No, Sir.BERTIE: Then why is your tummy rumbling?JEEVES: Pardon me, Sir, the noise to which you allude does not emanate from my interior but from that of that animal that has just joined us.BERTIE: Animal? What animal?JEEVES: A bear, Sir. If you will turn your head, you will observe that a bear is standing in your immediate rear inspecting you in a somewhat menacing manner.BERTIE (as narrator): I pivoted the loaf. The honest fellow was perfectly correct. It was a bear. And not a small bear, either. One of the large economy size. Its eye was bleak and it gnashed a tooth or two, and I could see at a g. that it was going to be difficult for me to find a formula. "Advise me, Jeeves," I yipped. "What do I do for the best?"JEEVES: I fancy it might be judicious if you were to make an exit, Sir.BERTIE (narrator): No sooner s. than d. I streaked for the horizon, closely followed across country by the dumb chum. And that, boys and girls, is how your grandfather clipped six seconds off Roger Bannister's mile.Who can say which method is superior?"(As reproduced in Plum, Shakespeare and the Cat Chap )”

“What are you giving us?""Cold consomme, a cutlet, and a savoury, sir. With lemon-squash, iced.""Well, I don't see how that can hurt him. Don't go getting carried away by the excitement of the thing and start bringing in coffee.”