“Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.”

“It seems all humans ever do is muddle through and hope to have a rest period before the next obstacle comes along. It’s the love that keeps us going, whether it’s a partner, or your family, or your friends who are also your family. If we didn’t have that love, anything else keeping you running will eventually burn out.”

“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”

“Guilty, Your Honor, but only of minor transgressions. My motto is, 'Let no girl, no gun, no cards, no violins, no dress, no tobacco, no laziness keep you from your books.”

“Whatever helps you not to use. (If pushing a peanut up a hill with your nose keeps you sober, well, then, just push a peanut up a hill with your nose.)”

“My motto is: When in doubt, just keep lying. Even if you're terrible at it.”