“DAYS ONE THROUGH SIX, ETC.You keep on asking me that –“Which day was the hardest?”Blockheads! They were all hard –And of course, since I’m omnipotent,they were all easy.It was Chaos, to begin with. Can you imaginePrimeval Chaos? Of course you can’t.How long had it been swirling around out there?Forever.How long had I been there?Longer than that.It was a mess, that’s what it was. Chaos isRocky. Fuzzy. Slippery. Prickly.As scraggly and obstreperous as the endless behindof an infinite jackass. Shove on it anywhere,it gives, then slips in behind you,like smog, like lava, like slag.I’m telling you, chaos is – chaotic.You see what I was up against. Whocould make a world out of that muck?I could, that’s who – landfrom water, light from dark, and so on.It might seem like a piece of cakenow that it’s done, butback then, without a blueprint,without a set of instructions, without a committee,could you have created a firmament?Of course there were bugs in the process,grit in the gears, blips, bloopers –bringing forth grass and trees on Day Threeand not making sunlight until Day Four, that,I must say, wasn’t my best move.And making the animals and vegetables beforethere was any rain whatsoever – well,anyone can have a bad day.Even Adam, as it turned out, wasn’t such a greatidea – those shifty eyes, the alibis,blaming things on his wife – I mean,it set a bad example. How could heexpect that little toddler, Cain,to learn correct family valueswith a role model like him?And then there was the nasty squabbleOver the beasts and birds.OK, I admit I told Adamto name them, but – Platypus?Aardvark? Hippopotamus?Let me make one thing perfectly clear –he didn’t get that gibberish from Me.No, I don’t need a planet to fall on Me,I know something about subtext.He did it to irritate Me, just plainspite – and did I need the aggravation?Well, as you know, things went from badto worse, from begat to begat,father to son, the evil fruitof all that early bile. So nextthere was narcissism, then bigotry,then jealousy, rage, vengeance!And finally I realized, the spawn of Adamhad become exactly like – Me.No Deity with any self-respectwould tolerate that kindof competition, so what could I do?I killed them all, that’s what!Just as the Good Book says,I drowned man, woman, and child, likeso many cats. Oh, I saved a fewfor restocking, Noah and his crew,the best of the lot, I thought. Butnow you’re back to your old tricks again,just about due for another good ducking,or maybe a giant barbecue.And I’m warning you, if I have to do it again,there won’t be any survivors, not evena cockroach! Then,for the first time since it was PrimevalChaos, the world will be perfect –nobody in it but Me.”

“I closed my eyes. “Seth—”"And when I was there and Erik sent me wherever he did, I felt…well, it was beyond anything I’d experienced. At first, I was so confused and disoriented. I didn’t get what they were saying about finding you. It seemed surreal. Then, it was the easiest thing in the world. I just looked for you, and there you were. In all that space and all that chaos, reaching you was like looking into myself. We were so close…it defied physics and every rule of nature I knew. It didn’t seem real that I could be together with anyone like that.And when it was over, it’s like I said—I wasn’t sure what I’d just been a part of. But I knew that I had never experienced any bond like that with any other woman. Maybe you’re the only one, maybe there’s another…but regardless, I didn’t have it with Maddie. She’s amazing. I do love her. But in that situation again? I would never find her. And I knew it wasn’t fair to lead her into a life without that connection. You and I…I don’t understand what’s between us, but I’d rather spend my life alone than with someone who isn’t you.”

“I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty five days a year, I was still in elementary school at the time - fifth or sixth grade - but I made up my mind once and for all.”“Wow,” I said. “Did the search pay off?”“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”“Waiting for the perfect love?”“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are time in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. “Now I see, Midori. What a fool I have been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate Mousse? Cheesecake?”“So then what?”“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”“Sounds crazy to me.”“Well, to me, that’s what love is…”

“I don’t want you going there without me, ever…do you understand what I am saying?” he asks me, searching my face, probably looking for any sign of dissention.“Let me get this straight, what if I got a craving for…I don’t know…Twinkies in the wee hours of the morning and all that was open was the Seven-Eleven. You’re saying I should wake you up, even if you’re crashed out, just so that you can go with me on a treat run?” I ask skeptically, trying to gauge his level of commitment to this course of action.“Genevieve, Twinkies are really bad for you, but if you had to have one, then yes, that’s what I’m saying,” he smiles at my scenario. “Do you really like those things?”“I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to tease me, but I will say that it’s suspiciously inhuman not to enjoy a Hostess snack from time to time,” I reply coyly. “I’ll buy you one. You’ll love it, I promise.”And I’ll be doing the world a favor at the same time, I think, remembering him without his shirt on.”

“Pamela, I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up! Lemme tell you. Let me. Every time I look at your face or even remember it, it wrecks me - and the way you are with me - and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m going to live a thousand years cause that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you which is that I’m crazy about you, Pamela. I don’t wanna be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream. You were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you, Pamela. It’s like a condition. It’s like polio. I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you. And I can’t be with you. So I’m gonna die - and I don’t care cause I was brought into existence to know you and that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back it’s like greedy.”

“What do you like doing best in the world, Pooh?""Well," said Pooh, "what I like best-" and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called. And then he thought that being with Christopher Robin was a very good thing to do, and having Piglet near was a very friendly thing to have; and so, when he had thought it all out, he said, "What I like best in the whole world is Me and Piglet going to see You, and You saying 'What about a little something?' and Me saying, 'Well, I shouldn't mind a little something, should you, Piglet,' and it being a hummy sort of day outside, and birds singing.""I like that too," said Christopher Robin, "but what I like doing best is Nothing.”