“If He were not God, then one would think it very badly planned.”

“And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence”

“George you were very very bad to run away from Alice. Very bad But you were very good to stomp Sinclair when he was being a dick so I think we'll call this a wash.”

“If that were God's plan, it's a bad bargain; I don't want to have to deal with a God like that...My sense is God and I came to an accommodation with each other a couple of decades ago, where he's gotten used to the things that I'm not capable of and I've come to terms with things he's not capable of...and we care very much about each other.”

“Suppose the world were only one of God's jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one?”

“God has plans for you and His plans are for good because God Himself is good. He can neither think nor do evil.”