“Judging from the fact that you’re out here by yourself, I’d say that you were probably embarrassed,”

“Judge not before you judge yourself. Judge not if you’re not ready for judgment.”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d probably be into tennis. And if my name were Funnalingus, well, I’ll let you figure out what I’d enjoy.”

“Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl who lived on an iceberg in the middle of the ocean, sooner or later— probably sooner— I’d look up to see you swooping overhead on a broomstick. In fact, by now I’d be disappointed in you if I didn’t see you.” “Are you off to the iceberg today?” Sophie retorted.”

“So you’re saying you do want to sleepwith me?”“Given the fact that I just took my millionthcold shower since I’ve moved in here andI have to constantly recite the GettysburgAddress and The Bill of Rights in my headwhen I’m around you? Yeah, I’d say so.Why, you want me, too?”

“There are no mirrors of any kind in here. If there were, I’d want to smash them, but I wouldn’t. Instead, I’d probably just stare at them, giving myself negative affirmations.”