“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”

“Money's scarceTimes are hardHere's your fuckingXmas card”

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

“Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.”

“It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.”

“We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.”