“Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?”

“Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.”

“Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.”

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”

“I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.”

“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”