“I was hoping against hope he'd refill his Prozac so we could be in love again, but, sadly, that never happened.”

“The only feel-good situation I could hypothetically equate it to would be lying in a kiddie pool full of cotton candy while spinning around and around with my tongue hanging out!”

“He's probably somewhere right now eating a Big-N-Tasty. The man has a coffee pot, a microwave, AND a mini refrigerator in his classrooom. If you plan on having a conversation with him, I suggest you do it over the phone. Otherwise, you'll need a motorcycle helmet just to avoid the Snickers shrapnel flying from his mouth!”

“It felt like I had a thousand packs of Strawberry Pop Rocks simultaneously detonating in my chest, and I dilated at least eight centimeters!”

“Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine with that Oompa-Loompa!”

“Why don't people ask us about our hope? The answer is probably that we look as if we hope in the same things they do. Our lives don't look like they are on the Calvary road, stripped down for sacrificial love, serving others with the sweet assurance that we don't need to be rewarded in this life.”

“No gift bestowed upon us us so precious as children. They are proof that God still loves us. Theyare the hope of the future” Ensign, May 1987”