“To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.”

“If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.”

“Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.”

“There are no kinder or better people in the world than those who listen to you when you are 18.”

“The complexity of economics can be calculated mathematically. Write out the algebraic equation that is the human heart and multiply each unknown by the population of the world.”

“When are the world's political parties going to get appropriate symbols: snake, louse, jackal, ... trash can, clown face, ... dollar bill with bat wings on it?”

“Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.”