“GERRYI would step on your face! HACKENSACKERThat's quite all right, I rather enjoyed it. GERRYTwice! HACKENSACKERYou made quite an impression. ”

“You know, Maude . . . somebody meeting you for the first time -- not knowing you were cracked -- might get the wrong impression of you.”

“JEANBoy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one! COLONELDon't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common. ”

“The most incredible thing about my career is that I had one.”

“THE POLITICIANIf it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish!CATHERINEEspecially since you can't rob the people anyway.THE POLITICIANSure...How was that?CATHERINEWhat you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books.THE POLITICIANThat book should be in every home!”

“That's one of the tragedies of this life - that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous.”

“JEANI need him like the axe needs the turkey.HARRINGTONDon't be vulgar, Jean. Let us be crooked, but never common.”