“The most incredible thing about my career is that I had one.”

“That's one of the tragedies of this life - that the men who are most in need of a beating up are always enormous.”

“THE POLITICIANIf it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish!CATHERINEEspecially since you can't rob the people anyway.THE POLITICIANSure...How was that?CATHERINEWhat you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books.THE POLITICIANThat book should be in every home!”

“JEANBoy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one! COLONELDon't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common. ”

“This is the story of two men who met in a banana republic. One of them never did anything dishonest in his life except for one crazy minute. The other never did anything honest in his life except for one crazy minute. ”

“When the last dime is gone, I'll sit on the curb outside with a pencil and a ten cent notebook and start the whole thing over again.”

“GERRYI would step on your face! HACKENSACKERThat's quite all right, I rather enjoyed it. GERRYTwice! HACKENSACKERYou made quite an impression. ”