“I think I'm going to go. I'll see you this weekend. And just so you know, holding grudges gives you premature wrinkles.""Yeah, well, in this case, not holding them would make you a wrinkle-less fool.”

“I do what I want to do. I refuse to hold back what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling anymore. And if someone doesn’t like it, then they don’t need to be in my life. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it. I don’t want to spend any more time trying to make other people happy. Life is much more enjoyable when you’re surrounded by people who just accept you for you.”

“You know something, Red? … I think we got a good thing going on here.”

“I can't promise you that I'll never be am asshole again. But I can promise you that I don't mean it. And I can't promise you that I won't ever make mistakes, but I can promise you that I'll learn from them and do whatever it takes to make it right with you again.”

“I don't know what you were looking for, but I just needed a little stress relief.""Stress relief? That's all this was?""'Fraid so. ""Well, I heard that going for a master's degree can be pretty stressful.""It's torture.""Could be that you might need stress relief on a regular basis then?""I couldn't agree more. It's a good thing batteries are on sale at Target this week.”

“You don’t see the world the way other people do. And when you let your guard down, the way you think, the way you say things… you make people look at things differently. You make people feel things.”

“See, Red? When life hands you lemons, you know what you gotta donow.”“Wow,” Lauren said. “Yes, Mr. Cliché, I know what I have to do. I makelemonade.”“No,” he said. “You scream, ‘Fuck you, lemons!”