“Well, I wouldn't be grumpy if you left my ice cream alone, douche!”

“I like ice cream with my cake. But in moderation, and not like five gallons with a cupcake. For that much ice cream, I’d need at least two cupcakes.”

“Have you ever spent days and days and days making up flavors of ice cream that no one's ever eaten before? Like chicken and telepone ice cream? Green mouse ice cream was the worst. I didn't like that at all.”

“We were like the Beatles, Dad.''I know you think that, sweetie''Seriously. Mom is John, you're Paul, I'm George, and Ice Cream is Ringo.''Ice Cream,' I said. 'Resentful of the past, fearful of the future...everytime we saw Ice Cream sitting there with her mouth open, we'd say, Poor Ice Cream, resentful of the past, fearful of the future.”

“. . . and even the worst ice cream is better than no ice cream.”

“No matter what happens to society, I must maintain my supply of ice cream. ”