“Don’t think I won’t know if you’re lying, I know how many bases you’ve been on, you red headed puritan. I will be able to tell fact from fiction.”

“Getting a rejection letter from a place you’ve been thinking about is bad enough, but how shitty do I feel getting a rejection letter from some place I don’t even remember applying to? That’s like a homeless person walking up to me and saying, “You don’t know me, but in case you’ve forgotten, you’re a loser.”

“Now, here’s a philosophical dilemma for a vicar … is it a lie if you don’t know you’re lying? Is it a lie if you’re lying to yourself?”“Is it a sin if I tell my cousin to bugger off?”

“I know it’s going to sound funny, but I know you’ve been hanging around with that Billie Marsh, so maybe it won’t be strange after all. Would you be my best man—or, I don’t know, my best lady?”

“I don’t know what you’re feeling. I won’t even pretend.”

“What do you know that you’re not telling me?""I don’t know what you know, so I don’t know what you don’t know.”