“Derrick, Samantha, and Michael were all very good at avoiding being murdered. Nanny Piggins considered this to be one of the most important life skills.”

“You can tell which ones are the artists,' Nanny Piggins said loudly, for she could be instructive when she chose to be. 'They are the useless-looking one wearing cardigans.' There were indeed several useless-looking, grouchy young men wearing cardigans among the crowd. And those who had heard Nanny Piggins's comment glared at her instead of glaring meaningfully into empty space like they normally did.”

“Nanny Piggins lost the Vegetable Peeling, Gutter Cleaning, and Long Division Explaining tests as well. She got caught telling Michael, 'Don't bother to learn that. Long division is a waste of brain space, when you can just buy a calculator.' Which is only the truth.”

“Experience has taught me that it is always better to be well rested than to know what you are doing - Nanny Piggins”

“Oh yes," said Nanny Piggins. "I can regale people with anecdotes from my sordid past and think at the same time.”

“The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes.”