“Crosses?""Definitely""Why?""Because they're evil, soulless, bloodsucking fiends?""So was my sixth-grade gym teacher, but he wasn't afraid of a cross.”

“Why couldn't he just keep being an evil, soulless bastard so I knew what his role was and I knew mine?”

“Crosses only scare vampires away because they're allergic to bullshit.”

“Ive wanted to be with Lance Tanner since the sixth grade, but that was so not going to happen since he's a zombie now.”

“Definitely beats my first kiss. Seventh grade, Andrea Williams, behind the gym after school. She came over to my table at lunch, whispered the proposition in my ear, and I had a hard-on for the rest of the day.”

“Rostov kept thinking about that brilliant feat of his, which, to his surprise, had gained him the St. George Cross and even given him the reputation of a brave man - and there was something in it that he was unable to understand. "So they're even more afraid than we are!" he thought. "So that's all there is to so-called heroism? And did I really do it for the fatherland? And what harm had he done, with his dimple and his light blue eyes? But how frightened he was! He thought I'd kill him. Why should I kill him? My hand faltered. And they gave me the St. George Cross. I understand nothing, nothing!”