“I paused in the act of opening the door and looked at him with what were probably cartoon-wide eyes. "Wait a second," I said. "So, you're best friends with a hot vampire chick who likes leather.""Yeah.""And together, you fight crime?" I couldn't help it. I cracked up.”

“About thirty feet from the door, Molly abruptly stopped in her tracks and said, "Harry."I paused and looked back at her.Her eyes were wide. She said, "I sense..."I narrowed my eyes. "Say it. You know you want to say it.""It is not a disturbance in the Force, she said, her voice half-exasperated.”

“I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously...you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute...HA! I looked hot as a chick!”

“You wanna fight?" I asked.He looked up at me and, for just a second, hesitated, then said, "Yeah. I do.""Well, I'll save you the trouble. You win.”

“Deceased's request as stated in last will and testament: 'I want to be made up to look undead, like the fucking sexiest vampire chick you can imagine, for an open-casket viewing.”

“Damn straight" said Connor. "So yeah, I look at you and I could suck start a leaf blower, or drill a Kevin-shaped body hole into the wall, like a cartoon.”