“It's a good thing I've got to live with you two or I'd be putting this on YouTube later. And mocking you”

“Why do you care? I've ignored you for days."His smile fades. He looks serious, mockingly so. "Yeah. You got to stop that.”

“Grandma Mazur stood two feet back from my mother. "I gotta get me a pair if those," she said, eyeballing my shorts. "I've still got pretty good legs, you know." She raised her skirt and looked down at her knees. "What do you think? You think I'd look good in them biker things?" Grandma Mazur had knees like doorknobs.”

“It doesn`t matter who you are,or how good you got things. Sooner or later,shit goes wrong for everybody. Sooner or later,there comes a time when all you want to do is shout Fuck you to the world.”

“And I saw then and there you take a man half-bad and a women half-bad and put their two good halves together and you got one human all good to share between.”

“The good thing about a self-help book is that if you misunderstand something then it won't mock you.”