“I've got a sense of self-preservation. OK, granted , it's still in the original shrink wrap but I've got one if I ever want to use it.”

“It's a good thing I've got to live with you two or I'd be putting this on YouTube later. And mocking you”

“This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.”

“The rule of the Morrell family was over, and Richard owned a used-car lot and Monica worked at a nail salon, until one day she got run over by a bus. Very sad.”

“So, been attacked by any vampires yet?""Not one.""Zombies? Giant spiders? Water monsters?"It's been really quiet on the supernatural front""Too bad, 'cause I got attacked by a devil dog. It was not awesome.”

“Eve said, in a high, squeaky, airless voice, “The ghost! You’re the ghost Miranda was talking about! Oh my God, Michael, you’re the ghost! You bastard!”He nodded, still concentrating on breathing.Eve got control of her voice and squealed, “That is without a doubt the coolest damn thing I have ever seen in my entire life!”

“I've bowed to you for too long, and if I continue to do it, we will all suffer.”