“Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker," he told her. "My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray."Oh. "You get me the nicest things.""Anybody can get jewelry. Posers”

“Using your own time to make someone else’s life better is, like, the nicest thing you can do for anybody.”

“What's with the super soaker?" -Stephine"I had a stork of genius when you called me this morning I said what do I have to do to protect myself from the vampire? And the answer that came to me was holy water! I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner." -Lula"You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?" -Stephine"Yeah I sucked it out of the church. You know that birdbath thing they got right up front?" -Lula"THe baptismal font?" -Stephine"That's it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking." -Lula"Brilliant." -Stephine”

“You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?”“Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?”“The baptismal font?”“That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.”“Brilliant,” I said to Lula.She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.”

“About the nicest thing God ever invented was alcohol. He's proud of it, too. The Bible's full of kind remarks about booze.”

“Pepper spray," he said, lightly touching her back. "Give it a second.""Pepper spray?""You were a casualty of your own rescue."He pointed and she turned to look at the scene behind her. Over a dozen old ladies were beating the man with their purses and dousing him with pepper spray. Several police officers hovered nearby, as if they couldn't get close enough to help the guy. They didn't look like they were trying very hard."What kind of sicko pervert are you?" one woman demanded. "Liz Sutton is one of us. You try to hurt her, you answer to all of us. You got that?""Seniors to the rescue," Ethan told her.”