“So, been attacked by any vampires yet?""Not one.""Zombies? Giant spiders? Water monsters?"It's been really quiet on the supernatural front""Too bad, 'cause I got attacked by a devil dog. It was not awesome.”

“I'm a vampire, idiot. I don't have x-ray vision." "Some supernatural monster you are, remind me to trade you in for a werewolf, bro. Probably be more useful right now.”

“I just went to work for a vampire, was scared by a spider, and got knocked down by a tanning bomb. And that’s just my day, not my week.”

“It's only a hunting spider, it won't hurt you." -Myrnin"So not the point!" -Claire"Oh, pish. It's just another living creature. Nothing to be frightened of, if handled properly. I think I'll call him Bob. Bob the spider." -Myrnin"You're insane." -Claire”

“does you costume involve leather?" she'd asked. and he'd said, "Actually, yeah, it might."it really did. it involved a leather dog collar, leather pants and a leash, and the leash was held by Ysandre, who was in skintight red rubber, from neck to knee high boots. she'd topped it off with a pair of devil horns and a red tridant. she'd made Shane her dog, complete with furry dog mask. ***"Breathe," Myrnin said. "I'm not much for it myself, but i hear it's quite good for humans."***”

“Shane looked down at the staked vamp at his feet. 'Claire?''Yes?''You staked a vampire with a number two pencil.''I didn’t actually check the number.''Have I told you lately how freaking awesome you are?'She tried to smile, but her heart was fluttering in her chest now, and not in a good way. 'Compliments later. We really need to get out of here and get to the car. Any ideas?''Find another pencil and I’ll pin this one down, too,' Michael said.'You know how weird that sounds, right?' Shane said. 'Right, never mind. Number two pencil, coming up. Why do I feel like we’re taking a test?”

“Well," he said, "I think we've found our way in. We just wait until they're duking it out, but trust me, these Humans First types don't have a lot of staying power or they'd have been at the gym with me before. I doubt Grandma Kent there is going to do a lot of damage." He pointed at a gray-haired, hunched lady in a shawl, carrying what looked liked a gardening tool. "It's like Plants Versus Zombies, and I'm not rooting for the zombies, weirdly enough.”