“Tell me he’s not talking to Brandon,” Claire said.“Um… Ok. He’s not talking to Brandon.”“You’re lying.”“Yeah. He’s talking to Brandon. Look, let Shane do his thing, okay? He’s not as stupid as he looks, mostly.”

“We don’t have to talk about Zsadist.That’s okay. He’s the most interesting part of me.”

“Do you play football?' Brandon asks. 'No.' 'Baseball?' 'Nope.' Brandon is on a roll and won't stop until he's found the answer he's looking for. 'Tennis?' 'That would be a nada' 'Then what sport do you play?' Carlos puts down his food. Oh, no. He's got a rebellious gleam in his eye as he says, 'The horizontal tango.' ...Alex stands and says through chlenched teeth, 'Carlos let's talk. In private. Ahora.' ....Brandon turns to my dad with big, innocent eyes. 'Daddy, do you know how to do the horizontal tango?”

“We’re distant cousins. He’s my first cousin, but he’s 5,000 miles away. And he doesn’t talk much.”

“That's wonderful. I do like a man that tells you right out he’s looking out for himself. Don’t we all? I don’t trust a man that says he’s not. And the man that’s telling the truth when he says he’s not I distrust most of all, because he’s and ass and an ass that’s going contrary to the laws of nature.”

“You’re not just a girl he’s seeing. You’re THE girl. You’re it for him. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you … He’s completely, madly, deeply in love with you, and he wants a lifetime with you.”