“What’s burning?”“Your brain.”

“What’s her name? Claire, what’s her name?”

“OMG OMG OMG, Shane is totally crushing on the new roomie! I can’t believe it. I always pictured Shane going after blond beach hotties. Who knew he liked big brains and teeny little bodies? Although, to be fair, she is cute as a button. (Why do we say that? What’s so cute about a button, anyway?)”

“Michael!” Oliver’s voice came faint through the front door. “Something you should see, my boy! Look out your windows!”“Trap,” Shane said instantly, and reached out to grab Michael’s arm as he walked by. “Don’t, man.”“What’s he going to do? Make faces at me?”

“Fire is always ready to burn the hand it warms.”

“Well,” Naomi said cheerfully, “what’s the worst that can happen?” They were silent, considering that, because there were just so many possibilities. But in the end, it was a better idea than Facebook.”

“He rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, “I vant to drink your blood” in a heavy, fake Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen."!”