“Well, well, well,” Santa said once the elf had retreated. “Come and sit on my lap, little boy.”This Santa’s beard was real, and so was his hair. He wasn’t fucking around.“I’m not really a little boy,” I pointed out.“Get on my lap, then, big boy.”I walked up to him. There wasn’t much lap under his belly. And even though he tried to disguise it, as I went up there, I swear he adjustedhis crotch.“Ho ho ho!” he chortled.I sat gingerly on his knee, like it was a subway seat with gum on it.“Have you been a good little boy this year?” he asked.I didn’t feel that I was the right person to determine my own goodness or badness, but in the interest of speeding along this encounter, I said yes.He actually wobbled with joy.“Good! Good! Then what can I bring you this Christmas?”I thought it was obvious.“A message from Lily,” I said. “That’s what I want for Christmas. But I want it right now.”“So impatient!” Santa lowered his voice and whispered in my ear. “But Santa does have a little something for you”—he shifted a little inhis seat—“right under his coat. If you want to have your present, you’ll have to rub Santa’s belly.”“What?” I asked.He gestured with his eyes down to his stomach. “Go ahead.”I looked closely and saw the faint outline of an envelope beneath his red velvet coat.“You know you want it,” he whispered.The only way I could survive this was to think of it as the dare it was.Fuck off, Lily. You can’t intimidate me.I reached right under Santa’s coat. To my horror, I found he wasn’t wearing anything underneath. It was hot, sweaty, Geshy, hairy … andhis belly was this massive obstacle, blocking me from the envelope. I had to lean over to angle my arm in order to reach it, the whole timehaving Santa laugh, “Oh ho ho, ho ho oh ho!” in my ear. I heard the elf scream, “What the hell!” and various parents start to shriek. Yes, I was feeling up Santa. And now the corner of the envelope was in my hand. He tried to jiggle it away from me, but I held tight and yanked itout, pulling some of his white belly hair with me. “OW ho ho!” he cried. I jumped o1 his lap. “Security’s here!” the elf proclaimed. The letter was in my hand, damp but intact. “He touched Santa!” a young child squealed.”

“Do you need help with anything?" he asked with a wicked arched brow. "Maybe with cookies for Santa."Scowling because no one was here but us, I said, "You're a bit late for that. Santa already came."He hadn't moved, but I knew better than to think he would. Flynn was a pro at filling the bubble air space that was meant to be private and personal. "And were you a good girl?" he asked.Awkwardly folding my arms over my chest, I said, "Not sure, I haven't checked. But you needn't look. We all know you are all bad."Laughing, he said, "Yeah, well, there are other things worth unwrapping."Grinding my teeth, I asked, "What, you didn't get your Ho, Ho, Ho, last night?"Tossing back another full belly laugh, he said, "You know you're kind of funny when you want to be.”

“He is quiet for a minute, then turns his head to look at me. "Where were you when I was twelve?""Well, I was nine." I cut my eyes over to him. "And probably locked in the back of a Ho-Ho truck, eating my way to freedom. Yeah, that really happened.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”That was a little too personal, wasn’t it?“I..” I was caught off guard.“Is that a yes, or a no?” He raised an eyebrow in curiosity as he stared deeply into my eyes.If I looked deep enough, I thought, maybe I could find what I was looking for.“No,” I whispered.He put a hand to his ear. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you?” I had the feeling he had heard it loud and clear, but was messing with me.“No,” I said with one quick look at him and then I lowered my eyes toward the table.He smiled at my response. “Good,” he replied.Was I flirting? Was he?I looked back up to try to understand his answer. “And do you, Mr Kaden?”“Do I what?” He was definitely playing with me now. “Do I have a boyfriend? No. I don’t.”I laughed and couldn’t help but smile in the process.”

“Umm, well do I have to tell you how it’s done?” I tease, as I get on my knees and lean over him, . A wide smile spreads over his face as I straddle his lap.“Oh, are you taking dominance? I think I like that.” He grips his hands on my hips, pulling me as close as he can get.”

“Caleb dumped me on my birthday,Before I’d ordered an entrée,“What a dick!” some might say!But don’t you worry my little sheep,I am not sad and will not weep,For Caleb Jones is a cheat!He two-timed me with some ho,Whose name is Kacey ‘Slut’ Munroe!But I don’t care about my foe,For I have found a brand new guy,My Blue Eyed, Mr Berry Pie!And I know, he won’t make me cry,For I did fall under his spell,To him, I am his gorgeous Belle,So Caleb Jones can go to Hell!”