“Shelly, what is this?" "What?" "This." She shook her fork. "A Rocky Mountain oyster." "Is it a shellfish?" "No, it's a testicle." "Oh, my God!" She dropped the fork as if it had suddenly zapped her. "Whose?" Dylan burst out laughing. "Not mine." "They came from the Rocking C. I bought 'em during castration season," Shelly told her. "You bought them? Oh, my God!" "Well," Shelly answered as if Hope were the crazy one, "they don't just give away free oysters, you know." "No, I don't know. I'm from California. We eat real food. We don't eat cow ball.”

“That wasn't so bad. She said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. What was it?That was a Rocky Mountain oyster, also know as a Montana tendergroin.No. I just ate bull's balls?Only one, but yes, you just tore up a tasty testicle. Congratulations!”

“I met her at the beach. Her name was Shelly.”

“Guess what?" Maggie said as soon as I walked into Celmentine's."What?"She clapped her hands. "I have a date to the prom!""Guess what?" I replied."What?""I don't." Her mouth dropped open. "Oh, and," I added, "I bought a bike.".... "Okay, let's just slow down." She held up her hands, palms facing me. "First things first. What do you mean, you don't have a date?""Just that," I said, sitting down at the desk. "Jason bailed on me.""Again?"I nodded."When?""About twenty minutes ago.""Oh, my God." She put her hand over her mouth: her expression was so horrified, like someone had died. "That's the worst thing ever.""No," I said, swallowing. "It's actually not.""No?"I shook my head. "The worst thing is that right afterward, I marched right into the bike shop and asked Eli to go with me, and he said no."She threw up her other hand, clapping it over the one already covering her mouth. "Holy crap," she said, her voice muffled. "Where does the bike come in?""I don't know," I said, waving my hand. "That part's kind of a blur.”

“Hello, I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman. ”

“The Last Words of My English GrandmotherThere were some dirty platesand a glass of milkbeside her on a small tablenear the rank, disheveled bed--Wrinkled and nearly blindshe lay and snoredrousing with anger in her tonesto cry for food,Gimme something to eat--They're starving me--I'm all right--I won't goto the hospital. No, no, noGive me something to eat!Let me take youto the hospital, I saidand after you are wellyou can do as you please.She smiled, Yesyou do what you please firstthen I can do what I please--Oh, oh, oh! she criedas the ambulance men liftedher to the stretcher--Is this what you callmaking me comfortable?By now her mind was clear--Oh you think you're smartyou young people,she said, but I'll tell youyou don't know anything.Then we started.On the waywe passed a long rowof elms. She looked at themawhile out ofthe ambulance window and said,What are all thosefuzzy looking things out there?Trees? Well, I'm tiredof them and rolled her head away.”