“Archer! Let us fetch a spot of tea, old boy!”

“They stared each other down, and while the dorky eleven-year-old in my soul kind of hoped that two hot boys might fight over me, the rational, seventeen-year-old knew that Archer need to get out of here, fast.”

“Archer Cross, resident bad boy and total heartthrob. Warlock. Every girl here is at least, like, half in love with him. Crushing on Archer Cross might as well be a class.”

“Both of us widened our eyes and said, "Woah."Then I immediately blushed. Oh my God, had I just looked at Archer and said, "Whoa"?But...wait a minute. Had Archer just looked at me and said "Whoa"?”

“On the upside,my crush on Archer was totally gone. Over. Once a boy has slammed his kneecap into your rib cage, I think any romantic feelings should naturally go the way of the ghost.”

“Suddenly, both Archer's and Jenna's hands clamped down on my wrists.”

“Archer isn't hot anymore.... He tried to kill me, and his girlfriend is Satan.”