“Good luck explaining to God that you used to spank one of his heavenly beings."Mom gave a startled laugh. "Sophie!""What? You did. I hope you like hot weather, Mom, that's all I'm saying.”

“Wow," I heard Mom say, and I turned to her with a smile."Good luck explaining to God that you used to spank one of his heavenly beings."Mom gave a startled laugh. "Sophie!""What? You did.I hope you like hot weather, Mom, that's all I'm saying.”

“No," mom says, looking at me in the eyes. "What's a triumph is that you woke up this morning and decided to LIVE. THAT'S a triumph. that's what you did today.”

“Mom says it's good luck if a ladybug lands on you. But club members do not think that is scientifically accurate.”

“Where did all the words go?" I asked."They just wasted away," my mom explained, " like a leg you never walk on.”

“Even though I've never met my dad and don't really want to, I share some of his talents. Along with being the messenger of the gods, Hermes is the god of merchants-which explains why I'm good with money-and travelers, which explains why the divine jerk left my mom and never came back. He's also the god of thieves. He's stolen things like-oh, Apollo's cattle, women, good ideas, wallets, my mom's sanity, and my chance at a decent life.Sorry, did that sound bitter?”