“Must be weird for you, having your mom here.""Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had to give up your swinging bachelor pad.""Mrs. Casnoff let me install my heart-shaped Jacuzzi in my new dorm room.""Cal," I said with mock astonishment, "did you just make a joke?""Maybe.”

“Mom frowned, and I wanted to give her a thumbs-up to let her know I was okay. All I could manage was raising my bound hands in her general direction, clocking Cal on the chin as I did so. "Sorry.""No problem. Must be weird for you, having your mom here.""Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had to give up your swinging bachelor pad.""Mrs. Casnoff let me install my heart-shaped Jacuzzi in my new dorm room.""Cal," I said with mock astonishment, "did you just make a joke?""Maybe," he replied. We'd reached the end of the pier. I looked down at the water and tried not to shudder."I'll be pretending, of course, but do you have any advice on how I'm supposed to not drown?" I asked Cal."Don't breathe in water.""Oh,thanks,that's super helpful."Cal shifted me in his arms, and I tensed. Just before he tossed me into the pond, he leaned in and whispered, "Good luck."And then I hit the water.I can't say what my first thought was as I sunk below the surface, because it was mostly a string of four-letter words. The water was way too cold for a pond in Georgia in May, and I could feel the chill sinking all the way into my bones. Plus my chest started burning almost immediately, and I sunk all the way to the bottom, landing in the slimy mud.Okay,Sophie,I thought. Don't panic.Then I glanced over to my right, and through the murky water, made out a skull grinning back at me.I panicked.”

“When Mrs. Casnoff saw us, she walked over to us. "Sophie," she said, her voice warmer than I'd ever heard it. "Happy birthday. It's good to see you."I actually believed he meant it, which was weird. Weirder still was the smile she gave me as she said, "I was just talking with several of the guests about your decision not to go through with the Removal. We're all so pleased."Great. Nothing better than my superpersonal decision being party chitchat."Well,that's probably a first for you," I tried to joke. When she just looked confused, I clarified. "Being pleased with me."And then she completely freaked me out by laughing. Granted, it was a low, short laugh, but still.”

“You have this weird look on your face," he said. "Like you're doing really complicated math in your head.”

“The long flight from Georgia to England had been pretty uneventful. Exceept that Cal had sat next to me. Which was fine. Really. It wasn't like I'd been hyperaware of his presence and jumped the three times his knee bumped mine. And adter that third time, he definitely hadn't shot me a kind of disgusted look and said, "Chill out, will you?" And when Jenna gave us both a quizzical look, we hadn't snapped, in unison, "Nothing!" Because all of that would have been weird, and Cal and I weren't weird. We were cool.”

“You okay?" Archer asked as he opened the door."Yeah," I said, but I was freaked out. "It's just...Can I ask you something really weird?""Those are my favorite kinds of questions.”

“I wondered if they had rehearsed this weird three-way-talking thing they had going on. I imagined them sitting in a circle in their dorm room, brushing their hair and saying, "Okay, so I'll say we feel bad, and then you'll say that your hot boyfriend thinks she's pathetic.”