“Somehow, my whole existence had become a really complicated word problem. I'd always sucked at those.”

“You have this weird look on your face," he said. "Like you're doing really complicated math in your head.”

“Why had my life suddenly become a Nancy Drew mystery from hell?”

“So hologram means--" I finally said."It means non-corporeal, yeah. Which sucks seeing as how there are a lot of very corporeal things I'd like to do with you right now.”

“She was around fifty, with dark blond hair that had been twisted, teased, and probably threatened into a complicated updo.”

“I opened my eyes to stare at a bright blue tulle monstrosity with a skirt that would hit me at mid thigh. I'd look like the really slutty bride of Cookie Monster.”

“The Bed Thing had happened two months ago. I'd wanted to move my bed, and decided to use magic to do it.Instead of scooting over a few feet, the bed had gone flying out the window, taking a big chunk of the wall with it.Mrs. Casnoff had not been amused.Especially since the Bed Thing had followed the Doritos Incident. Jenna had wanted chips; when I'd tried to make them appear, I'd flooded the hallway with Doritos. There were still traces of cheese dust in the floorboards. Before that, there was That Time With The Lotion (the less said about that, the better).”