“STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT:1 cup of cooked oatmeal1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk)2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness)1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture)1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color)1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity)Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutesLet mixture cool to warm vomit temperatureUse liberally as neededMakes 4 to 5 cups”
Rachel Renee Russell
Tales from a Not-So-Popular Party Girl
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