“You planning top kill me with a Wiffle bat?" [Carson asked]"Yeah.""Why?" he asked.The bat was shaking in my tight grip. "Because I don't have my Minnie Mouse pillow.”

“I smashed his hand as hard as I could with the Wiffle bat."Ow!" he screamed.Carson was rubbing his red palm, inspecting it for damage. "That hurt," he shrieked. "You really hurt me.""Right back at you," I said. "Good-bye Carson."He frowned, massaging his hand, the big baby. "I just wanted to end this nicely.""Yeah?" I cocked the bat up to hit him again. "Well, this time you don't get what you want.”

“Do you think we're being robbed?" I whispered.He nodded gravely, then crawled over to my closet and opened it."Did you want to borrow something more formal to wear for the robbery? I'm not sure I have anything in your size.""Shh," he whispered. "Don't you at least have a tennis racket or anything?""You think they came here looking for a doubles partner?"He turned quickly and gave me a look, then whipped a Wiffle bat out of the mess."Wow," I said. "You jock-type people really are single-minded, aren't you? Uh-oh, we're being robbed. Let's play ball!""It's for a weapon," Carson whispered."You're gonna hit them with a Wiffle bat?""What else you got?""Um...A pillow""Exactly" ... "Stay behind me," he whispered."Can I just say that I never knew this about me before, but weirdly enough this whole protective he-man thing actually turns me on.""Josie.""What," I asked."Shut Up."I grabbed my pillow, just in case, so to speak, and tiptoed behind him around the mussed-up bed. "Maybe we should just hide in the closet."He turned around, rolled his eyes and kissed me. "Shh," he repeated.”

“Are you planning on asking my daughter's permission to ravish me as I deserve? If so, please take heed when she informs you that I am lonely and need a woman in my life. She's been nagging me for the last five years to find one." "In your dreams, bat boy.”

“Did you hear that?" Casper said."Bats," Cheyenne replied.Casper gasped with horror. "You know I hate bats," he hissed."Bats bats bats bats bats," Cheyenne said."Stop it! We're not kids anymore!" Casper shouted."This way, Braveheart.”

“Dee, I think the reason why he stares at me is because he’s planning on ways to kill me and hide my body.”