“Oh, come on. Wouldn't you rather go upstairs and lick your wounds? Maybe make an ice pack for your crotch?”

“Holder: "Why'd you stop talking?"Sky: "Talking? Holder, I'm reading. There's a difference. And from the looks of it, you haven't been paying a lick of attention."Holder: "Oh, I've been paying attention. To your mouth. Maybe not to the words coming out of it, but definitely to your mouth.”

“Don't lick your wounds unless you care to taste the sting a second time.”

“I'll be your puppy. What do you want me to do? Chew your slippers? Piss on the kitchen floor? Lick your nose? Sniff your crotch? I bet there's nothing a puppy can do that I can't do!”

“...the usual icing period (where the doctor doesn't come right away but leaves you there to freeze in your paper gown while scraping at the files on the outside of your door making you THINK he is going to come in but he doesn't)...”

“The rule is any decent-looking girl asks to share your drink or have a lick of your ice cream or take a bite of a sandwich, you say yes. It's gross if you think about it, especially like now, Kristi's lips all covered with Ryan's spit, but there are some rules even you wouldn't break.”