“Because being assaulted with maxi pads is a great way to win friends and influence people.”
“She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.”
“Here is one of the great truths of the human condition: when you need Stayfree Maxi Pads to absorb the expectorants produced by your insulted body, you are in serious fucking trouble.”
“New Maxi-Pad Pets. Accessories for your period.Brought to you by The Corporation: In your homes andin your pants.”
“Greatness is in influence, and not necessarily in affluence. It is not achieved by being a 'paper millionaire', but by being a 'people millionaire'.”
“Tampon commercial, detergent commercial, maxi pad commercial, windex commercial - you'd think all women do is clean and bleed.”