“Bono met his wife in high school," Park says."So did Jerry Lee Lewis," Eleanor answers."I’m not kidding," he says."You should be," she says, "we’re sixteen.""What about Romeo and Juliet?""Shallow, confused," then dead."I love you, Park says."Wherefore art thou," Eleanor answers."I’m not kidding," he says."You should be.”

“Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.”

“He sighs. “If it’s any consolation, I’m not overly thrilled about being away from my wife for so long, either.”“She a cougar?” Cora asks.Karl stares at her, mouth open.“I’m just saying,” she says defensively. “He looks like the sort to snag a cougar.”She did not just say that. “Cora!”“My wife is off limits to you.” He shakes a finger at her. And then, after a moment, “She’s not a cougar.”Cora cackles brightly.”

“You don’t really think I’m going to let her yell at my wife, do you?”“You’re getting pretty comfortable with that term.”“I guess it’s time I admit it. I knew you were going to be my wife pretty much from the second I met you. I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t been waiting for the day I could say it…so I’m going to abuse the title. You should get used to it, now.” He said this all matter-of-factly, as if he were giving a practiced speech.”

“Here is something that Peach, one of the Casserole Queens, says about men and women and love. You know that scene in Romeo and Juliet, where Romeo is standing on the ground looking longingly at Juliet on the balcony above him? One of the most romantic moments in all of literary history? Peach says there's no way that Romeo was standing down there to profess his undying devotion. The truth, Peach says, is that Romeo was just trying to look up Juliet's skirt.”

“We’re adults,” he says quickly. “I’m only here to work. I won’t bother you or anything.”“Fine,” she says. “Great.”“Great,” he repeats.“We’re too good of work friends anyways.”“We are?”“I mean, we’re probably too much alike,” she says.“Yeah, it would be too weird. If things didn’t work out.”“These things never work out,” she says.“Exactly,” he says.“Exactly.”“Right,” he adds. “Exactly.”“And who needs all the weirdness?”